You're a wizard, Harry! (ORIGINAL) Spoof video.

- You're a wizard Harry.

I'm a... WHAT?!

- Harry, you're a wizard.

I'm a what?!

- A wizard, Harry.

I'm a WIZARD?!

- Yes Harry, you're a wizard.

but I'm just Harry.

- Well, "Just Harry", you're a wizard.

but I'm just Harry!

- No, "Just Harry", you - are a wizard!

Listen here Hagrid I'm just Harry!

- NO! Harry, you are a wizard!

I'm not a wizard, Hagrid, I'm just Harry!

- Listen Harry, you are a wizard!

No Hagrid, I'm just Harry!

- Harry, for god's sake, you are a wizard!

A WIZARD?! I'm just Harry!

- Nooo, "Just Harry"! You're a wizard.

I'm not a wizard, Hagrid, I'm just Harry.

- Noooooo. Just Harry. You are a wizard.

I'm not a wizard, Hagrid!

- HARRY, you are a wizard!

Listen here Hagrid you FAT OAF! I'm not a FUCKING WIZARD!

- For god's sake Harry, what is with this language?! You're a FUCKING WIZARD.

I don't give a FUCK you FAT HAIRY BASTARD! I'm not a FUCKING WIZARD!

- Listen Harry, you're going to go to Hogwarts and do SPELLS and SHIT. And you're going to be FUCKING pleased about it!

I don't WANT to do your FUCKING spells you BASKET CASE! stick it up your fucking DICK-HOLE!

- My fucking WHAT?!?!

HAGRID, y'er pushing me over the FUCKING line!

- No I'm not. You - are a wizard! You're going to go to Hogwarts, you're going to do spells, you'll get a wand, you'll get a fucking owl, it'll deliver your mail - DEAL WITH IT. YA TWAT.

I'M GOING TO FUCKING PUT MY DICK IN THE OWL

- I did that when I was younger, and that was a bad move. You, are a wizard.

I'm a WHAT?!

- YOU'RE A WIZARD HARRY, FOR FUCK SAKE, LISTEN TO MEH!

Hagrid I've been through this I don't give a BLOODY FUCK WHAT YOU THINK.

- This is NOT negotiable! You come with me you SPECCY BOWL-HAIRED CUT FUCK SMALL DICK SKINNY CUNT EAT MORE WANKER

I'LL FUCKING SET YER BEARD ON FIRE!

- 'MON THEN YA LITTLE SPECCY CUNT, SQUARE-GO LIKE

I'LL FUCKING BURST YE'

- Right you, you little wank stain. If you don't get your act together, I'm gonna drag you to hogwarts. You'll get a wand, you'll get an owl that'll deliver your SHITEY meal and that'll be that and you'll enjoy it ya' sch-ch-ff-chhssh-chinky.

I'll fucking NAW yer ARM off, Hagrid!

- Listen you, get near my arm and I'll slap you across the face like a little BITCH

I'll PUMP ye' SILLY.

- C'MON THEN YA CUNT

SUCK MAH PIXIE DICK YA CHUBBY COON

- I'll RUPTURE YOUR FUCKING ANUS WITH MAH MASSIVE BEAR COCK

I'll RIP YER GIANT DICK OFF AND BASH YE ACROSS THE JAW WITH IT

- LET'S GO RIGHT NOW BRING IT ON YA LITTLE WANK

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Thanks to mr-kaki (facepunch) for the transcribe.
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Thanks to http://www.youtube.com/user/worldwideflyby
for the soundboard: http://soundboard.orangeserve.com/soundboard.swf
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